…first return to Bare Ground

June 6, 2010.  A few weeks ago, this bare patch of ground was filled with weeds up to my thighs.  Today we’re preparing to plant some seeds.  Tomorrow we’ll water, and with a little bit of conscious gardening over the next few months will harvest an abundance of nourishing food from this little patch of bare soil.

Yes, the weeds will return…and if we don’t keep them cleared almost daily, they may even choke out the new seedlings.  So we’ll patiently pull and till the soil while waiting for the new seeds to take root, to grow into strong plants, and finally to bear fruit (& vegis)!

This spring I’ve been pulling a lot of weeds from my inner garden too.  My year started with such a flood of creative inspiration and readiness to plant myself fully in service.  Then all of a sudden I was drowning in too much…too fast…a whirlpool that took me down down down into a dark hole that I couldn’t seem to escape.

So I did what any good swimmer is trained to do: I surrendered to the flow.

(3 week flow break…it’s now June 25!)
It’s not easy to admit, or even to find a way back into a post that is partly written, but here I am to finish by simply revealing that Returning to Bare Ground is not a simple thing. While I was in the middle of it all…stuck in the mud…it wasn’t so pretty (it may seem like I’m mixing metaphors, but mud IS a mixture of both dirt & water!  Now that I’ve cleared the most distracting weeds,  I’m quite sure that I’m being returned to the Bare Ground of Simple Being for a reason. (Turns out my hormones & thyroid were causing a significant part of the muckiness, but even when physically triggered, the mental-emotional clearing always feels good…once it’s done)

So…I’m taking a “Simplification Sabbatical” this summer! I’ve decided to give myself over to this deep yearning to simplify, to nourish myself & my significant relationships, to spend time listening to God, to allow all actions to blossom from a place of enthusiasm and clarity.  It will have a few guidelines, a few possibilities, and mostly open space to RENEW & RE-CREATE.  I may (or may not) write as I go, and at the moment I’m leaning toward writing.  It seems many of us are being pulled to simplify, and perhaps sharing my journey might help someone else gain perspective.

And now I’m going to close this post that has taken longer than anything I’ve ever written.  But then our garden took longer to plant this year than ever before too!

P.S. In spite of several family emergencies and a bunch of rainstorms, the garden is finally planted.  It’s great to see those seeds turning into vibrant plants.  I’m sure some of the seeds God is planting in this new bare ground in ME will be sprouting soon.  Stay tuned for one of those to blossom forth this next month in celebration of my coming birthday!

“To find our calling is to find the intersection between our own Deep Gladness and the world’s Deep Hunger.” –Fredrick Buechner

I recently attended a “Fierce Light” workshop where we were invited to share our boldest visions of how we’d like to serve the world. I shared two recurring dreams I’ve had over the past 10 years. In the first dream, I’m casting a golden net around the earth, shining light into the darkest corners by simply connecting the multitude of already existing brilliant sparks. In the second dream, I’m sitting around a table with a group of women joyfully giving away money to help people fund their ideas (and we’re all wearing nametags that say, Abundance Angel). I rushed off from the workshop for my grandson’s 2nd birthday party, feeling there was something not quite complete.

A few mornings later, I awoke at 3am with a fierce energy running through me and the message, “it’s time to step into your greatness…no more playing small!” Tears started flowing as I connected with the full scope of these two important dreams, along with a fear that I somehow wasn’t big enough. Then a sense of radiant peace washed through me as I realized I have everything before me, and within me, to create what I’m now calling my “Fierce Light Vision.” The peace turned to excitement when I realized that everything I’m doing is already in support of this vision but that the energy is just ready to amp up…and that I’ve created an amazing web of support to help meet the fullness of this vision in a new way.

When I planted the original seed of The Service Connection a little over 3 years ago, it was actually another version of those original two dreams. I envisioned women gathering in small circles around the world…stepping into our collective Greatness…receiving the courage, inspiration & financial support to live our boldest dreams…and doing this WHILE creating a stream of philanthropic funding for causes we care about.

I was fortunate that my partner Vasi, along with a circle of significant believers, stepped in to help ground the initial vision. For two years we planted, cultivated, watered, and in some cases tried to force the seed to bloom. This past year, we’ve been “incubating” as we explore and allow space to see where the vision wants to be planted. This has been a very challenging time for me, and often I’ve wanted to let go or give my vision to someone else. I now realize the importance of this time of allowing. I’m much more ready to step into the vision now than I was when it originally came through.

The Peaceful Woman journey continues … another journal entry I wrote March 3, 2 weeks after returning from my Maui Passage.

I live in a beautiful world.  Everywhere I turn, I see miracles and abundance… and my heart cries to see the death & destruction, the poverty and hopelessness that is also a part of our world.

Sometimes it’s impossible to hold my peace & inner joyfulness in the face of such harsh reality. It breaks my heart to see people impacted by nature’s devastation…or by the changing tides of money flow…or by the indignities inflicted upon the children who are the future of humanity.

I admire the people who show up every day in direct service to those who are struggling to find their way through life-challenging situations.  My prayers and offerings of support sometimes seem inadequate in comparison.  Yet every prayer, every small act of compassion, and every wonderfully unique way we show up for one another…each of these is important.

Today I’m remembering a message from my time in Maui: “Your place is wherever you are. You serve in all that you do.” My heart is still bound to break, and breaking open is a good thing. Let the peace and beauty that lives in my heart flow out to the world in new ways.

Another journal entry: The ‘peace of belonging’ is growing into a tangible sense of peace radiating through me.  I feel it rooting deep into the earth at the same time it surrounds me and reflects into my surroundings.  A friend told me I look more beautifully grounded in my essence than before.  Welcome home, Radiant Peace!

It’s been almost a week since my “Maui Passage” with The Peaceful Woman.  As I reflect back on this multi-faceted journey into peacefulness, it’s hard to know where to begin.

I could begin at the beginning, when a group of women gathered by the ocean to explore individual intentions and the purpose that brought us together.  I remember being in awe at the powerful diversity and strength within this group of women.  I recognized right away that I was here for more than my initial intention to become a facilitator of these experiential retreats.

Into the Valley of Peace

I could share about the intricate lessons woven from nature and the mystical beauty of the early Hawaiian culture…of how each of these took us deep into an exploration of our own nature and served as a brilliant reflection of the stories ready to be let go or newly birthed.

But what I really wish to write about is an unexpected gift I received from this “passage” into the peacefulness of authentic being…what I’m calling the peace of belonging. It’s not that I felt unpeaceful before I went or that I didn’t already belong.  I was very much at peace with who I am, how I’m showing up in life, and the community of friends I’ve gathered around me.  But I was totally unprepared for how much I would feel a NEW sense of belonging from this experience, or that I would find such a profound sense of peace as I gave myself over to this belonging.

The ancient Hawaiian culture teaches belonging to the land, to one another, and to the divine presence that is part of everything.  It’s easy for me to feel connected in these ways, and Hawaii offers numerous opportunities to connect to the divinity that breathes through her lands (and her waters ;-).

The belonging I’m feeling goes beyond these and even beyond the renewed connection to my inner being.  This belonging is about being part of something bigger than any one of us, and about knowing there’s something being created here that will serve the world in ways none of us can on our own.

I’ll be writing more about the fullness of this experience in days to come, but for now I just wanted to share this peace of my heart and to extend my deep gratitude to TPW founder, Cher Bertrand, for birthing this opportunity.  The Peaceful Woman is about personal renewal & the cultivation of inner peace…but more importantly, it’s a powerful call for women to spread our wings and to emerge as a collective force of leadership for our world.

I hope you’ll come FLY with us!   ~Shining Sor’a

Read ‘The Peaceful Woman’ poem

Peace~full Butterfly Women by Rachel Flower

***The heart of The Peaceful Woman Maui Passage is learning through nature and reflection in an experiential, no-lecture format. Here are a few journal entries that give a glimpse of my personal experience. Yours is bound to be different but at least as rich!

Day 1: Today we immersed in the native hula, exploring this graceful dance of talk story and falling in love with Hawaiian elder, Aunty Gordeen. My heart sprung wide open when Aunty and three of her students greeted us with a beautiful chant, singing us into their abundant garden paradise. Tears were streaming as we entered this sacred space, donned our hula skirts and prepared to learn the movements and sing a story of awakening the peaceful woman.

Day 2: Drove into Iao Valley, the womb of the island where fertility abounds. After a bit of ‘talk story’ with one of our Hawaiian guides, we were sent off to learn from the river and the sacred energy of the valley…a powerful opportunity to connect with our feminine nature and to release. Most everyone had a powerful experience as they immersed in the river; my own came from NOT immersing and allowing myself to release in a different way. “The journey is more satisfying than the destination” was my personal mantra for the day.

Day 3: Fire Day. Lava walk and Hawaiian sweat lodge. I’d like to burn away whatever it is that keeps me from fully connecting with the group. This wasn’t an easy day for me. I am wondering whether this is my place and how I can be more in service and connection here.

Day 4: Waterfall … Flow day. Where am I not in flow in my life? What needs to shift for my flow to return? Walking into the bamboo on our way to the waterfall, I’m flooded by answers to these questions. I need a shift in my mental perspective. I also receive a direct answer to my wondering from yesterday: “Your place is wherever you are. You serve in all that you do.” I leave the bamboo feeling revitalized.

[The longer story involves falling down a waterfall & receiving 5 stitches in my head…the power of manifesting a profound experience to punctuate the message and give the group an opportunity to dive deep into their own reflections.]

Day 5: Ocean Day … Unity. “You have all you need, right here, right now.” Enough said. I am complete.

Post Reflection Entry: The power of an experience is how it keeps working even after it is “over” … the layers of learning keep unfolding, and I’m finding the radiant peace from this experience moving through me and pulling me to act in new ways.

…let’s create an Arc of Love

As 2009 turned to 2010, I set an intention to be fully alive and more in service than ever before.  So far, the world has presented many opportunities to step into a fast-flowing current of doing.  In some ways, the needs of the world seem overwhelming, and it’s easy to get pulled into over-doing and giving until we’re exhausted.  For me, ‘riding the YES current’ is a reminder to rise from joyful inspiration in everything I do … to follow my passion, allowing natural exuberance to help choose where I give my time & talents … to remember that my body is simply a vessel.  When I allow the divine current to flow through me, I stay renewed & ready for whatever comes.

There are abundant opportunities to give, and many of them are right next door. I love that so many are called to help the people of Haiti, but I’d really prefer us to find ways to build infrastructures that will allow that support to be more ongoing.  Natural disasters will continue to happen, and there will likely always be people around the need extra support.  In the end, that’s probably why we’re here: to learn to give what we have to give, to love our neighbors as ourselves, and to open to receive the giving & the loving so that it expands.  Perhaps what we’re being asked to build together NOW is an expansive Arc of Love that will move us into a new phase of humanity.

No matter how much I try to stay simple through the holidays, the flurry of doing still manages to overcome my peace of being, and I often transition from one year to the next with some level of exhaustion.  So I’ve learned to allow this time to be a gentle reminder and reconnection to where I am in my life, as well as guidance for how I might choose to realign to bring even more joy/love/peace/fulfillment to myself and others.

This year, my body gave me a cold to keep me from launching too quickly into the new.  I listened to the nudge and decided to clear my office and redesign my work flow to create beauty & efficiency where I spend most of my time.  And (once again) in the releasing, I reconnected to what is most essential.

Like many, I’m not one to create grand new resolutions for a whole year.  I believe we’re being trained to live more in the present moment, to follow the flow of what comes before us, to set our sails and then keep course-correcting as we go.  Still, a new year does bring new energy, and every transition is a good time to check inside to see what might need to be adjusted on the outside.

So, here are my ‘new moment’ resolutions as I commit to being fully alive and more in service than ever before this coming year.  I also enjoy choosing a theme or two to guide me as I connect with the energy of the new.  This year, my themes are: to laugh often, to love much, and to live in a current of YES!

Here are a few of the ways I’d like to BE as I flow merrily down this stream of my life.  I’m calling these my moment-to-moment BEsolutions!

BE present for everyone I meet, especially those I often take for granted because I see them every day.

BE aware of how I serve in the smallest ways (a smile, a helping hand, a whisper of inspiration, an intuition-guided phone call) … even as I focus on the big projects & ideas & dreams that are sure to flow through me, as they always do. 

BE bold in loving, giving, radiating the inspiration that flows through me.

BE so filled with gratitude for the good in my life that I overflow with the JOY that is a natural part of who I am.

BE at PEACE, resolving to trust inner guidance to show me each next step.

BE willing to listen & integrate the external signals as I set my course, re-choosing every moment that which will honor my devotion to God and living in connection with the Light of my soul.

BE a part of the Solution in all I choose to DO.

I look forward to playing with you this coming year as we reach for the stars & ground in the joy of simple being.
~Sor’a

There are so many ways to be grateful. I’ve been writing about gratitude for almost 30 days now, but more importantly, gratitude has been ‘righting’ me this past month.  This comes as a major surprise to me, since I’m naturally a very thankful person. But somehow, my heart had lost its connection to gratefulness, and as a result I’ve not been in full glow.  What I’ve discovered through this wonderful ritual of sharing thanks is that I am truly-deeply-enormously thankful to be ‘me.’

Gratitude quotes make great graffiti!

Days 21-26 of the Gratitude Game:

To be alive: not just the carcass
But the spark.
That’s crudely put, but…

If we’re not supposed to dance,
Why all this music?
~Gregory Orr~

Every cubic inch of space is a miracle. -Walt Whitman

Praying ~Mary Oliver

It doesn’t have to be
the blue iris, it could be
weeds in a vacant lot, or a few
small stones; just
pay attention, then patch

a few words together and don’t try
to make them elaborate, this isn’t
a contest but the doorway

into thanks, and a silence in which
another voice may speak.

Lovely, complicated wrappings
sheath the gift of one-day-more;
Breathless, I untie the package –
Never lived this day before!
~ Gloria Gaither

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” ~ Melody Beattie

“Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving.”
~ Kahlil Gibran

30 Days of Thanks: The Gratitude Game continues, and this week I’ll be exploring how I am deepening my appreciation for the journey by climbing a few mountains … and opening to a few miracles!

Day 20: The miracle of music.  I’m grateful to Failla Drum for being SUCH a catalyst for music in our world.  I was inspired to go PLAY tonight at one of her weekly rhythm circles and I had a BLAST!  I’m smiling deep inside and still tapping my feet & swaying my body.  YUM.

Day 18-19: Up on top of another beautiful peak today, after experiencing the miracle of soul connection & community.  I’m celebrating the magnificence of all who came to be with Elle Re this weekend.  I feel very nourished and open…ready to go after a few of the life mountains that are still present in my life with more trust & joy than before.  This is the blessing of a spiritual practice that both presences us to the divinity of all things, and also shines light on the unique aspect of each, our True Nature.  Double thanks this weekend for my spiritual community and the Love that is guiding this journey.  Ahhhhhmen.

Day 17: “Feeling gratitude & not expressing it is like wrapping a present & not giving it.”  I’m so grateful for meeting new friends!  Thanks, Rio, for this quote and for shining your Light so beautifully into our world.   I am opening, opening, opening … to the miracle of gratitude. 

Day 16: Thankful to be cherished…the miracle of unconditional Love.

Day 15: This morning I climbed the mountain by my house.  It was a clear, blue-sky morning, a bit chilly but I was shedding layers by the time I got to the top.  As I turned to gaze out across my hometown, a church steeple centered in my awareness, and I quietly knelt within my heart.  Thank you, God.  I’ve been climbing one of life’s little mountains these past 2 weeks after finding a breast lump.  It’s amazing to me how many different emotions arise, and how many different opinions are given, when our bodies create something out of the norm.  As I stood on the mountain, breathing the crisp fall air, a wonderful sense of peace and strength flowed through me.  Every mountain, every valley, gives new perspective to the landscape of our lives.  This one is teaching me to listen and to honor my inner knowing, while at the same time being open to options that are placed before me.  (P.S. In case you’re worried for me, don’t be…it’s benign but still something I need to attend to.  I’m paying attention & giving my body what it needs right now, including a bit more rest, a cleansing diet, movement…and probably a few more climbs up that mountain!)

Day 14: Today’s THANKS is dedicated to another awesome gratitude offering, The World Gratitude Gathering from Stacy Robyn & Ken Herbert.  If you haven’t yet participated in their 42 gathering, sign up now!!  It’s a wonderful, magical offering … beautiful images, playful & powerful words, totally inspirational sharing.  I love everything about it & I’d say it’s probably creating quite a few miracles in our world.